


The Things We Never Got To Do

by Shota_Killers



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Cutting, M/M, Reincarnation, Suicide, death of a child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 11:32:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3325919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shota_Killers/pseuds/Shota_Killers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tears.  Choked sobs.  Screams.  These were the noises that filled the Jaeger home on the twenty-third of December.  Begging.  Pleading for mercy.  These were the noises that filled the Jaeger home when Levi and Eren Jaeger found their five year old son dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Things We Never Got To Do

Tears.  Choked sobs.  Screams.  These were the noises that filled the Jaeger home on the twenty-third of December.  Begging.  Pleading for mercy.  These were the noises that filled the Jaeger home when Levi and Eren Jaeger found their five year old son dead.

Levi wrapped his arms around Eren’s waist, holding his sobbing husband away from their son, as he pulled out his phone to call the police.  Tears poured down his cheeks as he stared at his son’s lifeless body, next to the boy was an open container of dishwashing tablets.  Eren’s sobs and demands to be released only made Levi cry harder.

“Nine-one-one, what is your emergency?” the operator greeted.

“H-Hello…” Levi managed through his tears.  “My name is Levi Jaeger, I live at 104 Maria Rd.  P-Please help...my husband and I just found our little boy dead.”

“I have officers on the way, Mr. Jaeger.”

“T-Thank you.”

Levi hung up the phone and wrapped his arms tighter around Eren, pulling him into the living room.  He tugged Eren into a hug, his husband burying his face in Levi’s chest.  Endless tears streamed down their faces as Eren sobbed uncontrollably.

“It’s okay,” Levi said weakly, trying to calm down his husband.  “It’s okay…”

* * *

 

Eren stared blankly into the distance as the medics wheeled his son out of the home in a body bag, snow falling lightly around him.  Christmas lights twinkled on homes.  Wreaths hung on doors.  Eren could see Christmas trees in people’s windows.  It was so cheery and happy that it made Eren sick.  

He had stopped crying by now.  The brunette was just numb.  He felt like he could vomit and didn’t think he would ever be okay again.

Levi walked up beside Eren and stared dead ahead.  He laced his fingers between Eren’s as they held hands tightly.  “We’re going to make it through this,” Levi said, his voice hoarse.  “If we make it through this...we’ll make it through anything.”

Without a moment of hesitation, Eren said, “I’m moving back to Washington.  To Seattle.  I want to be with my mom and sister.”

The raven nodded.  “Anything,” he replied.  “I’ll go anywhere with you.”

* * *

 

One Year Later...Exactly

****

It had taken a lot of convincing, but Levi finally got Eren to agree to go with him to visit their son’s grave.  The flight from Washington to North Carolina had been a hard one, but they managed well enough.  They were staying in Levi’s grandfather’s home.  His grandfather had passed over the summer and left the home to Levi.

The couple stood over the grave that read:

****

Carl Kenneth Jaeger

5/28/09 - 12/23/13

****

Levi stooped down to set a bunch of white roses on the gravestone.  He ran his fingers over the words and murmured, “Hey Carl.  Do me a favor, yeah?  If there is an afterlife or something, you spend so much time with your great grandpa.  He loved you so much.  You two spend as much time together as you can.”

Eren’s lower lip began to quiver as he watched Levi slowly stand up.  Hesitantly, he murmured, “Hey there, little man.  You be a good boy, alright?  Your dads have to go now.”  Without another word, Eren spun on his heel and quickly started to walk to the car as tears streamed down his face.

The raven glanced at the grave one last time, before chasing after his husband.  A sense of dread hung in the air.  Levi felt as if something incredibly bad was about to happen, he just didn’t have a clue as to what.

****

The sound of running water filled the small bathroom as Eren watched the clawfoot tub fill with water.  It was his fault that Carl died.  He should have made sure that the lock was on the cabinet door, or kept a better eye on their son.  It was all his fault.

After the tub filled, Eren slipped into the water and let it relax the tension in his muscles.  His eyes slipped to the one inch pieces of metal laying on the edge of the tub.  Eren shut the water off, then turned music on so that it played softly in the bathroom.  He set his phone down, before picking up the metal.

Slowly, he sunk the razor blade into his wrists.  The world was better off without someone who would let their own son die on their watch.

****

“I hate my birthday,” Levi muttered as he watched his husband’s casket being lowered into the grave beside his son’s and his grandfather’s.  “I hate Christmas.  I also hate New Years.”

Mikasa glanced over at him, before looking back at the grave as their friend, Erwin Smith, began to shovel dirt into it.  “I understand why,” she murmured.  “If it helps, I hate Christmas and New Years too.  Along with mum and Armin.  You aren’t alone in this, Levi.”

Levi looked at his sister-in-law with gratitude.  “Thank you, Mikasa.”

* * *

 

Fifty-Five Years Later

****

He was eighty-eight years old.  Somehow still able to walk and function like someone half his age.  He wasn’t in diapers or missing memories, but he was old, and he knew it.  Levi looked out the window of his home, looked at the sunny summer sky, and smiled.

“It’s our wedding anniversary,” he told the young woman sitting next to him.

She had long black hair, and green eyes, her skin was tanned and she dressed in jeans and a tank top.  The girl was the spitting image of Mikasa and her husband Mark, the girl’s grandparents.  This girl’s name was Cameron, Levi’s great niece.

“Tell me again about the day you and Uncle Eren got married,” Cameron said with a grin on her face.

Levi spent a lot of his time thinking about Eren, in his old age.  He didn’t have much better to do, if he was being honest.  “Eren was gorgeous…” the old man sighed.  “He wore a snow white suit, and his eyes glowed.  The wedding was amazing.  The flowers and the trees were blooming, and it was just...perfect.  Your grandma was Eren’s maid of honor.”

Cameron smiled and tears glistened her eyes.  “I miss Grandma Mikasa a lot,” she murmured.

“We all do,” announced a tall young man, with blond hair and brown eyes, as he walked into the room.  This was Armin and his wife Marcy’s grandson, Monty.  “Just as we all miss Grandpa Armin and Grandma Marcy….”

Levi smiled weakly at the pair.  He had watched these two grow up.  Just as he watched their parents grow up.  “If I can’t be with my own grand kids when I die,” Levi murmured, “well, I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.”

The now grey raven looked at Cameron.  “Cam, be good to yourself, okay?  You marry that Riley boy and have an amazing life.”

Cameron nodded rapidly as tears streamed down her face.  “Yes, of course.  I love you.”

Levi gave her a soft smile.  “I love you too, Cam.”  He turned to face Monty.  “Mr. Monty Arlert, my boy.  You take good care of that wife of yours, alright?  If your don’t I will haunt your ass.  Got me?”

Monty chuckled and shook his head.  “I wouldn’t have it any other way.  It’s been good, Levi.”

The old man nodded.  “It has been a hard, but good life indeed.”  He turned to look out the window again.  “I’m going to be with my Eren and my Carl again though.”  A smile spread across his face as his eyes closed for the last time.

* * *

 

Another Place.  Another Time.  Another Life.

****

God Levi hated fast food.  It tasted like shit, ninety percent of the time the service of shit, and the place smelled like shit.  He looked around the restaurant in disgust as he munched on french fries and typed a report on his laptop.

He looked down at his suit and brushed the salt from the fries off of it.  Great.  Now he would have to have it laundered again.  

The doors to the restaurant opened, and Levi wasn’t really sure why he did, because he never had before, but he glanced up to see who it was, and his heart stopped.  Memories flooded his mind and tears streamed down his face.  He quickly got to his feet as he watched a tanned young man, with chocolate hair and green eyes, walking into the restaurant with a small boy.

“Daddy!” the little boy squealed as he pointed at Levi.

The young man raised his eyebrows as he followed the boy’s gaze.  His eyes widened.  The little boy pulled away from the young man and ran to Levi.  Without hesitating, Levi gathered the boy into his arms and hugged him tightly.

“Carl,” he said softly.  “Oh, I missed you so much!”

Carl giggled and said in his bubbly voice, “I missed you too, Daddy!  OH!  Grandpa says ‘hello’!”

Tears started streaming down Levi’s cheeks, we was suddenly very glad that the restaurant was practically empty, save for the few employees in the back.  Levi looked to see the young man looking at him in disbelief.

“T-That can’t be you…” the young man murmured.  “Levi?”

Levi gripped Carl tighter, before rushing over to Eren so that he could hold both of them in his arms.  He couldn’t believe he was holding his son and his husband again.  It almost didn’t feel real anymore.

“I keep the cleaning supplies in the wall cabinets now,” Eren cried into Levi’s shoulder.

Levi smiled.  He smiled because now he knew everything would be okay this time.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the depressing Nationwide ad from the Super Bowl. If you haven't seen the depressing Nationwide ad, I would advise you go and watch it.


End file.
